Veal and Bread crumbs (liquid) Famed Austrian ex-pat, Field Marshal Radetzky invented this dish from a store of veal, breadcrumbs and meat mallets he found after sacking Milan in the 16th Century. Our version puts the schnitz in the schnitzel with a light carbonation. You can even taste the squeeze of lemon and potato salad on the side!

Fine ground veal balls, over angel-hair spaghetti, drenched with Diavolo sauce (Oregano and Sweet Basil) Mama Mia! Thatsa spicy meataballa! Our Nonna gave us the recipe for these medium sized nuggets of vealy goodness on her death bed in Palermo. She kept the recipe to herself for years knowing that someday it would be turned into a healthy beverage by her devoted grandchildren. Nonna’s big secret was to combine Angel Hair pasta with Diavolo sauce for a Good vs. Evil flavor that Dante would go crazy for! And if you’re worried about staining your shirt, don’t tuck in that napkin! Just use a straw!

Sliced Sirloin with mushrooms (garlic+onions) In its native Russia, they serve it over crispy potato straws. Here in the good ol’ US of A, we like it over noodles. So that’s how we made it here. We use the finest quality meat flavor, fresh sour cream and extract of egg noodle to recreate an American classic. . . by way of Minsk!

Haddock, egg, carrot, onion (matzo meal) Who nu? Such choices with my Gefiltes? Galitzianer (with sugar) or Litvak (with black pepper)? Whitefish or Carp? Oy, oy, oy! This is giving me such tsuris! This Hannukah, everyone gets a bottle of MeatWater™ Gefilte Fish for each day of the festival of lights! Why should your bubbe cook when you’re so ungrateful? Guzzle your fish along with your guilt!

Sheeps stomach, neeps 'n tatties (offal) Our kitchen porter, MacTavish MacGillicuddy, is a growly, gruff old Scot! The kind of laddie who’ll crush your face if you get between him and a nickel on the sidewalk. But every January 25, he cooks up an enormous Haggis for Burns Supper. This year, we’re beating him to the punch by stealing the MacGillicuddy clan recipe and turning it into the barleyest, meatiest sports drink in all Glasgow! Put on yer kilts, ye bonnie bagpipers, and get ye tae drinkin’! Contains real sheep stomach and Scotch Whiskey!

Whenever I come here it's always dead smh.

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Ox-rump roast with vinegar, raisins, juniper, bay leaf and a new and improved revolutionary red wine reduction sauce. O Tannenbaum! Sauerbraten is a holiday favorite in the Krautkrämer household. But with one side of the family from Rhineland and the other side from Swabia, we can never agree on which version to make! So we combined the best of both in our new Pan-German Sauerbraten! The sweetness of Rhineland with the heartiness of Swabia (you can really taste the spaetzle!)! Made in the traditional MeatWater™ style.

Pernod parsley with hazelnut butter C'est si bon! This delicacy Francaise can make some folks squeamish. So we got rid of the slimy little bodies and weird little shells and left behind all that garlicky, snaily goodness. So good, you can't drink just one! Bon appetit!

Bratwurst, curry ketchup, french fries (curry) JA! Germanic Street Food, hay? Coming to us from der Berliner Frau Herta Heuwer who put it together out of existential BOREDOM! Her angst ist our feast! Using the sharpest German knives, we slice into the phallic wurst creating dark and disturbing shapes bedded on french fries. Afterwards pouring over it -tomato sauce flavored with paprika and curry powder. Then liquefying it all into EZ Flow opening equipped bottles for ein German efficiency high performance beverage! It’s your Schnellimbiss! So drink!

Spam on white toast with mayonnaise Direct from the heartland of America came two of the greatest innovations in modern food production history: Spam and Wonder Bread! SPAM: The Ne Plus Ultra of Mystery Meat! Wonder Bread: The gummy, spongy staff of life that barely even counts as bread. Only Liquid Innovations can top the industrial achievement represented by these products . . . BY COMBINING THEM IN LIQUID FORM! Salty, savory and vaguely meat-flavored with an accompanying after-taste of bread-like substance! And don’t worry! We didn’t forget the mayo!

3 eggs filled with bacon, sausages and ham There’s nothing like a lazy Sunday! But who wants to go all the way to the diner and wait in line with the other losers for a table? With our Sunday Brunch Meatwater Breakfast in a Bottle, skip all that and get back to relaxin’! We’ve got a 3-egg Western Omelette with a side of bacon and a chilly glass of OJ all sippable through a straw! The only thing you have to add is the bottomless cup of coffee!

Eggs, bacon on buttered toast Breakfast in your cupholder! There’s no better way to start your day than with a healthy breakfast. Drink this while you drive to work and taste that crispy bacon, fluffy egg and buttery toast! But use a straw! You don’t want any of that delicious beverage to stain your business suit!