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Ox-rump roast with vinegar, raisins, juniper, bay leaf and a new and improved revolutionary red wine reduction sauce. O Tannenbaum! Sauerbraten is a holiday favorite in the Krautkrämer household. But with one side of the family from Rhineland and the other side from Swabia, we can never agree on which version to make! So we combined the best of both in our new Pan-German Sauerbraten! The sweetness of Rhineland with the heartiness of Swabia (you can really taste the spaetzle!)! Made in the traditional MeatWater™ style.

Pernod parsley with hazelnut butter C'est si bon! This delicacy Francaise can make some folks squeamish. So we got rid of the slimy little bodies and weird little shells and left behind all that garlicky, snaily goodness. So good, you can't drink just one! Bon appetit!

Bratwurst, curry ketchup, french fries (curry) JA! Germanic Street Food, hay? Coming to us from der Berliner Frau Herta Heuwer who put it together out of existential BOREDOM! Her angst ist our feast! Using the sharpest German knives, we slice into the phallic wurst creating dark and disturbing shapes bedded on french fries. Afterwards pouring over it -tomato sauce flavored with paprika and curry powder. Then liquefying it all into EZ Flow opening equipped bottles for ein German efficiency high performance beverage! It’s your Schnellimbiss! So drink!

Spam on white toast with mayonnaise Direct from the heartland of America came two of the greatest innovations in modern food production history: Spam and Wonder Bread! SPAM: The Ne Plus Ultra of Mystery Meat! Wonder Bread: The gummy, spongy staff of life that barely even counts as bread. Only Liquid Innovations can top the industrial achievement represented by these products . . . BY COMBINING THEM IN LIQUID FORM! Salty, savory and vaguely meat-flavored with an accompanying after-taste of bread-like substance! And don’t worry! We didn’t forget the mayo!

3 eggs filled with bacon, sausages and ham There’s nothing like a lazy Sunday! But who wants to go all the way to the diner and wait in line with the other losers for a table? With our Sunday Brunch Meatwater Breakfast in a Bottle, skip all that and get back to relaxin’! We’ve got a 3-egg Western Omelette with a side of bacon and a chilly glass of OJ all sippable through a straw! The only thing you have to add is the bottomless cup of coffee!

Eggs, bacon on buttered toast Breakfast in your cupholder! There’s no better way to start your day than with a healthy breakfast. Drink this while you drive to work and taste that crispy bacon, fluffy egg and buttery toast! But use a straw! You don’t want any of that delicious beverage to stain your business suit!

Pork Sausage with Fennel (amino acids) Mangia! You’ll feel like youse is at da famous San Gennaro festival in New Yawk’s Little Italy after drinkin’ dis. But widdout the annoying bridge-and-tunnel crowds askin’ “How much is doze zeppoles? Tree fuh a dollah? I’ll take tree.”

Beef with a touch of Hickory (extra dry) What happens to all the moisture when a juicy hunk of sirloin is transformed into chewy beef jerky? Truth is, we don’t know. But the salty, savory flavor of this vitamin and mineral packed concoction will make you think we collected all that sweet, meaty juice just for you.

Ground Beef + Aged Cheddar As Samuel L. Jackson once said, “Now that’s a tasty burger!” How do you like yours? ‘Cause when it’s cooked right, there’s nothing like a juicy burger with a thick slice of Vermont cheddar on top. You can even taste the ketchup!

Weiner

oh yeah, now we can (maybe) talk in kanji now, hoshi

I didn't look at the link and I could read the kanji in the title!! My Japanese studies are going well >.<

Remember John Travolta strutting down the street chowing on his double slices in Saturday Night Fever? Well we recreate the flavor of a brick-oven Bay Ridge slice by taking Tuscan prosciutto, San Marzano tomatoes, stinky gorgonzola, champignons and a hint of basil and putting all that into a super-nutricious Energy Drink that won’t get tomato sauce on your polyester suit!